In Which Our Baby Is Born

It's only two days past my due date and I wake up at 4:15 a.m.  I think it's just my back bothering me.  When I return to bed I realize these are real contractions.  I lay there for 45 minutes feeling my body work.  At 5 o'clock I wake B.daddy and tell him to pack his bag.  I call my midwife, the midwife on call, Li'l Bit's birth partner (Stac), and our friends who will watch the other two.  I gently wake Li'l Bit who jumps up in great excitement slurring, "Is it time?! Are you having contractions?! Let me get my bag!"  She has been so elated to attend her baby sister's birth.  By 6:15 we were on our way to the hospital.  The timing could not have been more perfect to get all our supporters in all the right places at the right time.

Twenty minutes in triage, 4-5 centimeters ready, and we were in our L&D room shortly after 7 with a fresh shift of helpers.  All totaled I had my posse of four (including my midwife) plus two other midwives and our L&D nurse, Beth.
It's time.  Let's do this.
I realized after the fact that I was terrified to face this labor.
After waiting so long for this sweet one....after loss and heartache...more waiting...after bleeding and worry and fearful ultrasounds....I didn't allow myself to believe we would actually get to have this baby.  Deep within I worried that she would never be ours.  I couldn't put this into words while the contractions pulled my body into shape, but it nagged at me until the work of labor was too great to allow any feeling or thought.
Labor went pretty quickly.  Lights out in the bathroom, I sat in the bath as Stac, B.daddy, and Jill took turns with me in silence, whispering encouragement, pouring warm water over my belly, bringing ice water and juice to my lips, breathing with me.  Li'l Bit would tip-toe in every now and then to give me a sweet kiss and a nurturing word. Then she'd go back to her joke book and entertaining the hospital staff.  When transition came, we shifted the earth which was my body out of the water to allow gravity to lend a hand.
The room that was filled with quiet chatter and laughter now fell silent as the full force of life pulled us all in together.
I could hear my husband's tears falling beside me...
Stac whispering reassurance to Li'l Bit...
Jill breathing deep and whispering words of focus...
I felt my entire world pulling on me.  No thought, no word, just breathe.
Between contractions I'd sit back and weep, not for the pain but out of awe.  All I could think was, "I can't believe He's letting me do this again.  I can't believe I get to have her."
The time came to push.  She was still very high, and I was caught off guard by how hard this part of it was.  Pushing had always been so easy for me.  How thankful I was that all three of my partners were there that day!  I needed each of them.  Eventually, our little girl came barreling straight down facing my left side.  Between pushes she somehow twisted her body and crowned again, only facing to the right.  Her head emerged, but her shoulder was stuck.  I felt her long leg stretch out and kick high above my belly button.  There was a 40 second period of urgent commands and maneuvers all around the room, all around my body.  Three midwives put there hands on me and delivered my baby safely with no harm to her little body.  It was 10:30 on the dot.  Because of the dystocia and meconium, she had to go to the pediatrician first.

Longest three minutes of my life.

She was here.  She was finally here!  I couldn't see her, my arms ached to hold her.  I lay in the bed, totally exhausted, crying, "I want her.  I want her.  Can I have her now?"  After the all-clear and the jubilant weigh-in of 10 lbs. 9 oz. B.daddy put her on my chest.  This is that moment.  That pure, warm, euphoric, peaceful moment these 9 months have brought.  All is well and I finally get to lay eyes on my baby girl's face, smell her skin, hold her body to mine.

Li'l Bit needed to leave the room right after the bustle of delivery.  She got lots of extra special attention and a juice box from the nurses at the nurses' station. She came back in after she'd gotten the proper dose of Center-of-Attention and felt like herself again.  We all took turns holding our sweet chunk, cooing over her perfection, and stuffing our faces because I don't think any of us had eaten a thing all morning.  Our wonderful nurse made sure I was clean, warm, and well-fed before we had to move to the maternity ward.

Our amazing friends watching over our kids at home agreed to stay both nights so B.daddy could stay with baby and me.  What an enormous blessing!  For two whole days and nights we got to sit...quietly...meditatively...absorbing this sweet miracle.  Every second I felt in total awe not just that an entire human being has come into existence in our family, but that that human being is so big and strong and healthy and perfect!  Who am I, that I should be given such a gift?