Wonderful Weekends

Weekends are my favorite. B.daddy is around, and I just plain like him. Also the "chronic burden of the mundane" is slightly lifted and wholely shared.
Last weekend was all about Mommy getting what she wants. ;) We got to babysit Amelia Friday night; Saturday was a fun day in; and Saturday night Mommy and Courtney went out for my monthly Mommy's Night Out with four other amazing women. Estrogen is a wonderful drug.
The weekend before that my dad was in town so we got to get out a lot more than usual. It's exhausting to get out with three kids, so we've had to bind ourselves to the house a lot since last June. But with an extra set of hands, we take it to the streets. Above, Ladybug and I are listening to a group of Inca Indians playing in Harvard Square.
And, drumroll pleeeease, this weekend Ladybug and I are flying down to spend a Love-Tank-Fill-Up weekend with my mom, sister, and their two best friends in Nashville. I'm going to get filled up on estrogen, hugs, and Sonic! I'm so excited.
For now, my babies are all crying for me to make breakfast.
I'm out~

If At First You Don't Succeed--Try, Try Again!

I pray I will never stop bragging on my husband.
When we are at our lowest...in our greatest need, our beloved ones--be they spouse, sibling, parent, or friend--are at the greatest risk of disappointing us. But as I've learned with my most favorite beloved, if they do, in fact, disappoint, give them a day or two. Then have the balls--ahem--the humility to ask for help again. Then be truly humbled and amazed as they finally* hear your cry, come to your rescue, and protect you from all the forces of the world.
This is romance.
The sacred, sacrificial love God has so mercifully made available to us, through us, for Him.
My husband, my Father, my life.

"I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10

*Finally. What a beautiful word that is. With such distaste, and even disgust, do we think on waiting. But with such glorious release do we exclaim, "Finally!"
For nine months my body contorts with your creation, and "Finally!" this body releases your wet, blue body--warm, whole, alive.
For two years I impatiently wait for you to ask me that crucial question, and "Finally!" our hearts are One and will never be Two again.
For nearly twenty-seven years, my heart has swelled and ached with love and pain, and, "Finally!" You give me another tiny glimpse of Your Truth that, to me, is monumental. One, single part of Your Infinite Being changes my entire life. But can I even use those words? Tiny, single? Do those even apply?

Do You Want Mommy To Go Ballistic?

It's barely 9 a.m. I've put Ladybug down for her nap, and I'm getting the other two ready for alone time. I can feel it slipping. I can't hold on much longer without a break. Then Gizmo screams at me. Again. This time I scream back. Li'l Bit starts bawling, but Gizmo is too proud to cry. Alone time begins.

My poor husband tries to help. He sits with me on the phone in silence for thirty minutes, but all I can think about is the pile of work just sitting there on his desk. I'm making his day hard, too. It's not until I talk to a fellow mom--a very honest one--that the fog starts to clear. She's struggling, too. She feels guilty, too. You see, this all sounds melodramatic. And, really, it feels melodramatic. But that doesn't mean I can just snap out of it. And it doesn't mean there isn't a real source. There is a source, and it is my responsibility--with the help of my clear-sighted husband--to find it, pull it apart, and not let it rob us of life to the fullest.

~~~

A good, Christian mom is calm, sweet, and patient. She stays home to care for her growing mass of children. She collectedly spanks them every time they disobey her, so (of course) she has well-behaved children who are, in turn, learning to obey God. She cooks great meals for her family and keeps a tidy house. She smiles. She prays. She reads her Bible everyday without falling asleep or wishing she were reading her new novel instead. Shall I go on?

Yeah, didn't think so. It sounds absurd (and unattainable--kinda' the point here) when you write it all out like that. But the reality is that we have this picture in our heads of what we are supposed to be like as moms. Whatever each of our pictures looks like, it is a crushing image.

I really don't think days like today would be so hard if I weren't so disgustingly disappointed in myself. Granted there are other practical issues that can cause or cure a day like today. But if I took a long, hard look at what I really...really want to be--I think I might be surprised at what I see, as well as, how free I am to be me. I need to take a look.

So in the meantime, I find I'm asking my "warning question" a lot. "Do you want Mommy to go ballistic?" They look at me with puzzled half-grins and shake their heads "No." As crazy as it sounds, it seems to get the point across before I actually go ballistic...most of the time. ;)

Man of the Hour

Here's the man. Fire Fighter Sean, who Gizmo keeps talking about. He remembers everything about his experience at the Boylston Fire Station. So sweet!

In other news, we got a wireless keyboard to go with our laptop. (Remember--I spilled coffee on the laptop and our 'c' key has died.) Well, until now we've been copying and pasting c's, so now I keep ctrl-V-ing to try to make a 'c'. I know, hilarious antecdote. Anyway.

Here's Gizmo in his new fire fighter hat! Such a cutie. He gets embarassed when he's really proud or excited about something, so it's so fun to see him dimple up everytime we brag on him and his hat. :)

And B.Daddy got our pictures on our computer, so I can finally show you pictures from our night on the town last month! We soaked up every aspect of staying in a hotel for that less than 24-hour period. It was euphoric!

We snuggled, we watched t.v., we got all dressed up and ate rediculously good food, we ate in bed, and we slept in!! I took a shower with the door open without anticipating tiny intruders. Euphoric.

We should do that once a month.

Out On The Town

We made it into town again today. It's beautiful out there! Bright, sunny, in the 50s.
We took my dad on the bus into Harvard Square; took the kids to the Curious George store; and had a yummy lunch at John Harvard's. We just so happened to time this trip during their naptime. They did amazingly well, considering. Gizmo was put in the harness for the first time, (you know, the ones with leashes) and he LOVED it! Daddy held the leash so he got to run and jump and sky dive. He was in heaven, and Daddy's tired. Li'l Bit loves riding the bus. Within the first minute of an old couple sitting beside her she shared with them that Gizmo loves stickers, we have a basement, and where we were getting off. How did I, the most paranoid, protective introvert, give birth to a....a people person? And a very trusting people person at that. Days like these I'm very glad I'm teaching her at home!
Well, Ladybug is beckoning me.

Fire Fighter Sean

Our computer is on the f-r-i-t-z in a big way, so in order to post any new pictures I'm going to have to first load my camera software to our laptop. I'll try to get that done when I get a chance. But for now, I'll have to depend on my exceptional writing skills to give an interesting narrative of our family's exceptionally normal life.

Our weekend was awesome. We did an awesome amount of housework on Saturday only to find the house in an awesome wreck that afternoon. But we got to see our awesome friends Nathan and Kim Saturday afternoon, and that was awesome. We don't see them often enough! We squeezed eachother into busy schedules and then both left our gathering to have dinner with other friends.



That night we took the kids on the T to meet Stac, Heather, and clint downtown for his birthday dinner. After dinner--which was interesting w/ three sleepy kids--we walked by a fire station, and they had their garage doors open and the guys were out front. So we asked if Gizmo could see their trucks. (He is so in love with fire fighters, fire trucks, books, and fire sirens. In response to all, he says, "Fire Fighter!") So, Fire Fighter Sean was so fun and kind and showed us all of the parts of the trucks and his search and rescue garb. Gizmo LOVED it--he sat in the driver's seat. Li'l Bit clung to my leg in near panic the entire time. (That's a whole other story! She's constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown these days. She's fine; just having a hard time handling some of her emotions.) We got home late with three crazy-tired kids, and then realized we were also losing an hour for dang "Spring forward". Thus is life.

This morning we took our First Walk of the "Spring"! Oh, it was glorious to finally be in the sunshine longer than the time it takes to dart from the front door to the van. Other than that I spent the whole day cooking clint's homemade birthday dinner, which I loved. I just love cooking; and even more, I love cooking for people I love! Well, to my dismay, right at four o'clock when I was in the middle of shaping Aunt Suzie's Dinner Rolls and everyone was showing up, I got a dad-gum migraine again. Sometimes I think I should just wean the poor Ladybug and let my body finally get back to normal. But then I nurse her and realize that 1) it's the sweetest thing in the world, and 2) what if she's the last baby I'll ever nurse? So, anyway, I laid down all through church whilst Kc took care of the kids and Stacey finished preparing dinner. I was so thankful for them--and the ten other people here I could have asked to help. They're awesome.

And, now I'm the idiot with a migraine posting on her blog at 11:15 when I should be asleep! Asleep I go!

Bono and The Whores

While feeding Ladybug her yogurt and oatmeal I was singing along with Bono and The Corrs to When the Stars Go Blue. Li'l Bit was trying to follow along, which was very inaccurate and adorable. The song ended and she asked, "Is that how the stars go?" And I said, "Well, it's how Bono and The Corrs go, at least."
"Bono and The Whores?" she asked.
Stifled laughter.
"Bono and The Corrs, baby."
Love my babies. Off to tackle another busy day!

Miss Congeniality

My girls. They amaze me.

On Friday I took the kids to the mall to blow off steam in their ingenious play area. (You know, "Momtopia" where I get to just sit there and watch them play.) So, I look around to spot them and make sure no one had escaped. When I spot Li'l bit she's on the opposite end of the area talking to a supervising father. But, no, that was not all. She was not only talking to a grown man as if he were her best friend; she was leaning over the wall of the play area introducing herself to any and all who passed by. And she wasn't even making a show about it. It was just a normal part of her day to talk candidly with people (much older people) she had never met before. I can only imagine...

"Hi, my name is Li'l Bit, would you like to take me home? My mommy keeps defining 'stranger' for me, but all I hear is 'blah, blah, blah.' Do you want me to tell you my address?"

We must learn to channel that energy, dear one.

Speaking of energy...

Ladybug started crawling this weekend. B.daddy saw she was about to figure it out, so he sat and helped her until she got it. I think he sees his athleticism in her and Gizmo, and he's always so eager to help them along. It's so sweet. She also somehow pulled herself up to a sitting position for the first time in her crib. The girl's development is leaving my head spinning this weekend! She's just fun. Just plain fun. She's always made me laugh, but I've started to notice that when strangers meet her, they laugh too. There's just something in her eyes that expresses laughter.

And our little guy. Oh, our poor little guy. He has more energy and bull-headedness than any of us could have imagined possible in such a sweet, sensitive boy. But, I guess it makes sense. He will be growing up between two very strong females. He's going to need all the testosterone in the world to counter those two forces of nature.