Fairy Tales

On Saturday morning I drug my poor, sick husband off of his death bed. I needed him to watch the two littler ones so I could take my diva to see the opera. (Btw, I was just telling her when she came out of ballet today with a little too much flip in her skirt that she is NOT going to be a diva. Princess? Fine, I'll learn to deal. But, diva--No! I digress.) I was so excited to actually be able to take my four year old to see the closest thing to live opera as possible. It was streaming live to our movie theatre, and I know she's not quite ready to go and abide by all the rules of a real opera house.
So, anyway, we went. It was magical. Through the entire first act her eyes were glued to the screen. The words were in Italian, but she was following the whole thing. I mean, it was the cinderalla story for crying out loud! How perfect is that? Every once in a while she'd turn and look at me like, Is this for real?! and nuzzle her nose to mine. Words cannot express.
Then there was intermission. I got her some Skittles and she was ready for cenerentola to be a married princess already! So, Act 2 was not quite as magical as the first. Back to real mom world; telling her to sit down, stop kicking the seat, just keep watching--oh, there she's finally in her white sparkly dress.
"Mommy, can we leave now?"
Ahh, but we relish those nose nuzzling moments. That was worth the whole rest of the exhausting day we had.

happenings

getting ready for bed

getting ready for a haircut

getting ready to go to home depot workshop with daddy

getting dressed up by sissy

being the most beautiful little boy i've ever seen, albeit the most dangerous, too.

pride and prejudice

My baby and I ate popcorn, watching Lizzie and Mr. Darcy fall in love everyday during the last two months of Gizmo's internal incubation. One could not have asked for a more agreeable two year old to care for during pregnancy.
Carrie told me to relish every last moment, just the two of us, and deep down I knew she was right. Such a sweet time we had together--so simple, so quiet.
Now my quiet girl and I have both learned just how loud we can get when life gets hard.
How incredibly our life has changed!
Add two children.
Subtract reach-out-and-touch-me best friends.
Add unexpected companionship.
Add responsibility upon responsibility upon duty.
Then heap a huge pile of "get over yourself and grow up" onto my plate.

This falling to pieces mother tends to dwell in the misery of the moment.
~Too much to do, and not enough time to rest.
~I'm just too mean to be allowed to be a mother.
~If I have to repeat myself one more time...
~Is anyone even listening to me?
~I'm so, so tired.
Without these things, though...without these desperate thoughts: I would have never learned that it is not within me to be a good mother. My Lord is the only love great enough to make this work. He is the only one who can wrap around my babies and protect them from my mistakes. He's the only one who can teach me to forgive myself for my mistakes.
~~~
Yesterday was one of those days. Then daddy came home sick as a dog. He needed to go straight to bed, and I faced three more hours until bedtime.
But, like so many of these days, it is miraculously salvaged. All of the sudden, the unusually fussy Ladybug goes to sleep, and the two opposing forces of nature start getting along. After a long, peaceful play time, Gizmo goes to bed. Then Li'l Bit and I settle in with a bowl of popcorn and our movie. Her face was alight the whole time. We giggled, we snuggled--something that seems to happen so rarely these days. It was so sweet, so simple, so quiet.