So I Met This Guy

I was all of 18 years old, fresh out of high school.  He was 26.  He loves to say he had already done and quit all the things I wasn't legally old enough to do.  He had left home, partied like it was 1999, graduated college, and embarked upon his first and then second career.  I hadn't even voted yet.  But I knew one thing when I saw into his eyes that first night: 

This is the most honest man I've ever met.

I immediately went home and told my sister I'd met the guy I would marry.  What did I know?

Honesty.  That is the one thing I could say I knew for sure that night.  Deep within I knew more.  I didn't know I knew, but I knew.  A sea of peace was welling up inside of me that swooshed with love I didn't know was possible.  Things I would come to know that, for years to come, I would trace back to that first soul glimpse. Waves whispering gently...

He will never lie to you.  But he will never promise he'll never lie to you.  He will be painfully honest about his humanity.  He will tell you it is entirely possible he will leave you and forsake you one of these days, if he is not careful.  So he will be very careful.  He will heed the warnings and flee the temptations.  And he will be quite frank about those temptations which will thoroughly freak you out.  Eventually you'll see there's no escaping the truth, there is incredible danger in hiding our weaknesses from each other, and none in confessing them.  Not with him.

You will be safe with him.  He will let you throw fireballs of fearful, hateful anger at him.  He will take it, but he will not let you get away with it.  He will sit in your frozen silence for hours.  He will keep pushing you.  Sometimes too hard, sometimes not.  But he will push you to heal, to trust, to receive.  He will not let you go on just being the way you've always been.  Because of his dogged love you will begin to long for more.  For happiness.  For freedom.  Not the kind you get from doing what you want, but from doing what is right.  Especially when it's hard and no one else is willing to do it.  He will have your back.

He will stand between you and the rest of the world and dare them to mess with you.

He will cherish you and adore you which will be an absolute miracle, because you will spend years resisting him.  He will believe in you so much that you start to believe it too.  He will sing your praises at home, at work, to friends, to complete strangers.  And it will never get old.

He will not only give you children, but he will also change their diapers.  He will clean up their puke and take them to ballet and shepherd their hearts.  He will be patient when you are not, and not when you are.  He will struggle with you to become the parents your children need.  He will think they are the most beautiful, brilliant, amazing creatures on the face of the earth.  And also that they are just as messed up as everyone else and need to be loved unconditionally.

He will lay down everything he has ever wanted to take care of you and your babies.  He will show you what sacrifice means.  That'll be a good thing to learn.  He'll expect the same from you.  You'll say you can't, and he'll call your bluff.  You will try to scowl holes through him, but he will not scare off.  You have no idea how much you will learn from this man.

You will know what it means to be proud of him.  You will know what it feels like to truly respect him.  You will know what it is to love and live as one.

All in all, you will be very glad you married him.  You will wonder how you could survive without him and you will shutter at the thought of ever losing him or hurting him.  You will love him.  A lot.

And that's only the first eleven years.

the only picture of the two of us on our honeymoon.  it's my favorite.  we had no idea what all was ahead of us.

White Bean Pumpkin Chili

My son does not like black beans.  He and I share so many characteristics, but in this we part ways.  I have never met a legume I did not adore, and black beans are among my favorites.  It has taken me several years to accept this, but our bean based meals are much more peaceful now that I've chosen to leave the black beans out.  Pumpkin chili is a seasonal favorite, but my original recipe called for black beans.  This year I used cannellini beans and we were all very happy with the result.

A few words about pumpkin chili:

It is delicious.

This chili is as soothing and comforting as climbing up in your Memaws lap with an afghan and reading your favorite book.  The flavors are savory but mild; the texture is substantial but silky smooth.  We eat chili often throughout the cold seasons--all three of them--so pumpkin chili is a nice change from the norm. I highly recommend adding it to your annual, culinary fall welcoming!

You can serve it with a simple, sweet cornbread...or buttermilk biscuits...or rich, crusty french bread.  I'm quite pregnant at the moment so I served mine with a smile!

White Bean Pumpkin Chili
serves 10-12
1 lb. dry cannellini or great northern beans
1 onion, chopped
1 yellow bell pepper, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. olive oil
3 tsp. oregano
2 Tbsp. cumin
4 Tbsp. chili powder
29 oz. pumpkin puree
29 oz. crushed tomatoes
2-3 cups broth from cooking beans
salt and pepper to taste

optional:
cooked, cubed chicken* or cooked, ground turkey

1~Soak beans overnight in 8 cups of water.
2~Drain beans and recover w/ fresh water.  Add 1-2 Tbsp. oil and a bit of salt and extra seasonings (oregano, cumin, chili powder) to the water.  Bring to a boil; cook for 1-2 hours, or until beans are firm-tender.
3~Remove most of the bean broth, set aside 2-3 cups.  You'll add some later to reach the right consistency.
4~Saute onion, garlic, and pepper for 5-10 minutes.  Add oregano, cumin, and chili powder.  Scrape mixture into chili pot.
5~Stir in pumpkin puree and crushed tomatoes (and meat if you so desire.) Add as much broth as you need to give the chili the consistency you like.
6~Slowly heat for an hour or more.  As the chili cooks taste it periodically, adding small amounts of salt and pepper until all the flavors come out.

*Roasting chickens are the cheapest way to feed my crowd meaty meals.  I usually roast the chicken one day and serve it with lots of veggies, potatoes, and bread.  (More sides mean more chicken leftover.)  After dinner I pick the chicken clean and put all the meat in the fridge.  The next night I can use that meat for a totally new meal--stew, casserole, enchiladas, pasta sauce, etc.  And that second meal usually leaves us enough leftovers for a second night.  That's three meals from one chicken.

August and Everything Since

I'm sitting here in my house.

Alone.

Not a creature is stirring because there are no creatures here!  It is a strange sort of peacefulness one feels when she finds herself alone where she never is, you know, alone.  I'm thinking, I could really learn to like this place. ;)

My man is heading up the Awana outing tonight because I am ex-haust-ed.  I've had a pregnant cold--the worst, goopiest kind--for a week now.  So he's taking the kids so I can stay home and rest.  While I'm resting I should do what I have not had the energy to do: update my ever lovin' blog.

Just when I start thinking that it's a total waste of time and I have nothing good to say and who really cares, I hear from friends that I need to write more.  It is very encouraging because I love to write, and chances are I'd give it up--at least through this forum--if I didn't feel like it was worth anything.  So thanks to my buddies who actually read about this small life and these small thoughts.

Here's the skinny:

We've Had Birthdays

With Li'l Bits b.day on 8.26, Gizmo's on 9.10, and Babydaddy's on 9.16, I've just ended my "busy season."  I like to make a big deal of birthdays, and I tend to go overboard with plans and intentions and expectations.  So by the time we get to Babydaddy's birthday he's lucky to get a card and a cake anymore!  I could write an entire post on how many of his own holidays he's forfeited because I've needed him to be my Hero that day.  He's my Mighty, Mighty Good Man, y'all.

First, Li'l Bit had her 9th birthday.  We had a birthday dinner the day of with the five of us and Stac.  I love that my kids have such good taste!  Her requested dinner was Shrimp Scampi, a green salad, and Herbed-Cheesey French Bread.  And a strawberry cake, of course. :)

The weekend after her big day she had her BIG celebration.  She had two of her favorite gal pals over for a delightful sleepover complete with specifically requested menu items and a Barbie movie. The rest of their ridiculously lovable family came over the following night for a big dinner of--again, great taste--homemade meatballs w/ pasta, salad, and bread.  And red velvet cake this time.

Next up was Gizmo.  The big 7!  What he really wanted was a huge birthday party with all his friends.  I just didn't have it in me.  And many of his friends wouldn't have been able to make it because schedules were filling up right and left with school and sports.  So we made up for it in other ways.  He ended up having a great day.  First I dared to attempt this cake:

(it's lloyd from lego's ninjago line)

Thankfully there were no major mishaps, and I didn't jump around my kitchen cussing and throwing a tantrum.  (Yes.  That has been known to happen.)  

On his big day, B.daddy took off work and we went to the Museum of Science.  Gizmo got to be in charge of where we went--there are a gazillion different exhibits.  It was the most relaxed, fun trip we've had to that museum to date.  To which he would reply that maybe we should put him in charge more often!  When we left the museum we met Stac at our all time favorite eatery.  (This is also a very busy season for Stac who has to keep up with all these festivities.)  Pranzi's was the first place we ever ordered from up here.  It was the day we moved in to our little apartment in Medford, and we've been in love since.  They always, ALWAYS had the best, cheapest cheeseburgers.  This year Pranzi got an amazing new location right on Boston Ave across from Tufts.  Obviously his prices had to go up just a little bit, but $5.75 is still pennies to pay for the best cheeseburger in the whole entire world.  So, we had a great dinner and got to catch up with Pranzi. (That's not actually his name, but he answers to it all the same.)

Finally we went back to the house to eat the gloriously green cake and open presents.  He was most pleased.  He's wanted this Storm Fighter Jet for so long I had to special order it. ;)

As usual, B.daddy's birthday celebrations were less than stellar.  I managed to make him the requested Taco Salad the night before his Monday birthday, but that's about all I could manage that day.  :(  Stac came over Monday night to watch the kids, so we could go out.  We had a great time eating and talking and dreaming and discussing names for the baby.  With pregnancy symptoms making my evenings the pits, it has been way too long since we've had a good date.  It was indescribably precious to simply sit and laugh with my husband for hours.  We work dang hard on this marriage, so it's nice to ENJOY the fruits of that labor.

We've Started School

I started early this year, since I had to end '12-'13 abruptly when morning sickness hit in June.  I started as soon as I could stay out of bed for most of the day.  That and I'm HAVING A BABY IN FEBRUARY.  So I need to get in front of the eight ball now while I have the chance.  Overall it's been a good experience.  I'm trying a new planner this year, which for a person who loves planning a good planner is hard to find.  I really like this one!  (I won't go into all the reasons I like it.  This post is getting rather long.)  Also, I've eeeaaaased us into the year.  We started with just scripture, handwriting, reading, and math.  After two weeks I added two subjects; after another two weeks I added two more; shortly I'll add our last two subjects which have the smallest number of lessons.  (And, NO, I do not cover every subject everyday!)  This technique has been invaluable to us after a very, very unstructured Summer.  I still struggle with my arch nemesis: focusing on lessons when I need to do everything else.  Especially when we're having people over.  But I will have to admit that I am getting better about that.....little by little.

We've Been Getting Sick and I've Been Getting Bigger

Sick as dogs up in here. :(  First, Li'l Bit, The Rascal, and Babydaddy had an ugly fever virus.  It all happened right around Gizmo's birthday and we were praying he wouldn't get sick, too.  He's spent two birthdays in the ER, and we really did not want to continue in that tradition on any level.  Thankfully he stayed well, and has developed a knack for keeping away from the sickies in the house.

Right after that virus passed The Rascal and I contracted the cold from Hell.  At least I think it is because I'm pregnant and pregnant sinuses are under enough pressure already.  Colds are worse and last longer, and my dadgum belly can't take all this coughing!  Alas, we are getting better, and again I'm hoping my other three sweeties don't get this horrible mucusy mess.

Now on to the good news!!

We found out this month that we're having another baby girl!!  We were all surprised.  I've been so sick--I was way more sick with Gizmo than with either of the girls--I just knew it was my apparent allergy to testosterone.  But, nope.  It's a sweet, little, estrogen-pumping bundle of pink waiting to bless our home!  Gizmo has been in denial.  He told the ultrasound tech repeatedly, "No. It's a boy."  He continued this for a while.  It was not accompanied by a bad attitude, anger, or spite, so we allowed it.  Recently though I've had to stop it.  He's worked out his disappointment, we've respected it, and now it's time to accept the truth and prepare his sensitive heart to love this little one.  Even if she is just a girl.

Waiting for our ultrasound.

Finally, and least importantly, I'm getting bigger.  My tummy feels tight on the inside and out.  Only time I can brag about having a firm stomach!  And I'm pretty sure, though I'm denying it in my heart of hearts, I have outgrown a pair of teeny, tiny maternity jeans my teeny, tiny friend loaned to me.
It's all cool.  I'm just feeling a little deer-in-the-headlights about continuing to get bigger, i.e. more uncomfortable, over the next 19+ weeks.  There is very little I can do about it though.  I'm careful to only eat when I'm hungry (most of the time) and only what my body needs (most of the time.) And when all is well I try to get to the gym in the morning to bounce my belly on the treadmill.  In the end, if this baby needs to be a big one, she's got to go somewhere.  And for now that's all up in my grill. :)  I'll take it!

at the museum of science, already feeling all squished in the middle.

watching b.daddy's vintage baseball game w/ stac.