Like Hot Coals

I'm trying to be a better mother, so I'm not blogging as much as I'd like to. If I manage to post something either my children are left to their own devices (not good, by the way), or precious moments are stolen away from any chance I have to sit in quietness and read or pray...or sleep. So, even though I like the flow of my own written word, (yes, a jab at myself) I must restrain myself and try to focus on that which I can reach out and touch, whether it is a child or a dirty toilet. (I don't touch our toilet though, not like that. Rubber gloves, indeed the mother of all inventions.)
Anyway.
I realize I've not shared what has been most pressing to my heart lately, which was the effect our "Family Reunion" had on me. (I add quotations because when I describe the trip people often think I'm talking about my biological family.) What a blessing to have so many families. All of my life, I have been blessed with extension upon extension of mothers, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, etc. The Body of Christ, the Church, in warm flesh and blood. It seems that this blessing is rare among Christians. That's too sad a thought for me to accept at this point, so I need a few more decades to investigate.
Anyway.
I was encouraged and challenged. Nothing new, I know. But truly. To be surrounded by three other happy, healthy families who love each other so gently and purely. To see sacrifice, humor, gentle discipline, peace, joy, faithfulness, and on and on. I felt like a dark woman exposed and overheated by Light. I savored every moment we were together, but deep down, I was burning. Honestly, at times I was mad as hell. The hardness that had become my heart was molten lava, as I was exposed to brothers and sisters living out Love.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. And sometimes it hurts. (Okay most of the time.) Because sometimes we need to see the godlessness we've accepted in place of Joy, Peace, Love. Sometimes we need to see what we're missing out on. And I, personally, had been forfeiting the Peace and Joy God has amply provided. Not to mention Fun.