Brent Here, Am I allowed to do this?`

Sharing Sharla's blog to think through discipleship. Hope her readers don't mind.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,...

The most recent and deep things of discipleship that I have learned the past few years have come as a result of learning to love my wife in this manner. I have to consciously sit and think of Jesus' brutal death for the sake of his bride. The joy that he has in us, that he would allow himself to take the form of a man and suffer...ultimate humility.

When Sharla and I are struggling through a conversation, this comes to mind. Whether my case is strong or whether I am the one acting out of line, this truth comes to mind. It causes me to act the same way. I must become humble in rightness, and wrongness. I must not cause my wife to stumble. I must apologize. I must not lord over her when she is incorrect.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Think about Jesus giving himself up for his bride and then attempting to live that in everyday situations...taking up my cross daily.

This has taught love to me. This has taught me compassion. This has taught me to rebuke gently. This has taught me self-control, which appears to be the stepping stone to a deeper prayer life. (now, if I could just get that clear minded part down) This has caused Sharla to respond with love and respect. This is the anthem I preach to the men who are dating and considering marrying their brides. Death, glorious death...brings life and love.

This ability to have more control over myself, and to see the sacrifice necessary for my commitment to a love relationship has changed how I view my entire life. It carries over into my ability to interact with others on every level. I now look at my colleagues differently. But most importantly, I see the bride of Christ differently. I am learning more the challenges of living out love the way 1 Corinthians 13 explains. It's extremely hard, but it's wonderful. Since our church meets in our home, my wife gets to see me sacrifice for those that are hard to love in our community. She hears me, and takes part in our discipleship of young couples. She, is being discipled as I disciple others. She teaches me how to love and takes part in how we transfer that to others. We, in a sense, are learning how to disciple through our family. If I sacrifice, she feels it. If she sacrifices, I feel it. Love weighs on both of us.

It takes a long time. It's very hard. I understand the love of the Father, and my extreme need for him to live through me. I am at the very beginning stages of understanding/learning this and passing it on is even more difficult. I pray that the outcome is a fruitful family of obedient followers of Jesus, who die to love more!