Longest Cake Recipe Ever

I've gotten in the habit of making my friend, Stacey, the most decadent cake possible on her birthday.  Two years ago it was a Chocolate Toasted-Coconut Cheesecake--not bad, if I do say so myself.  Last year we were 1500 miles apart, so we just took her to Cock of the Walk when she visited that Summer.  (Shout out to the big AR!)  This year she said, "I don't care.  Just chocolate.  Anything chocolate."  And viola!  I found a recipe I'd been DYING to try but needed a big occasion to justify the effort.  True to form I can't just follow the dadgum recipe.  I had to change this and that, and that is what we have below.  Take it or leave it.

On her actual birthday Stacey was fairly certain that her dearest friend had been killed in Syria, so it was to say the least, a heavy hearted occasion.  But last night was not.  Her friend is home, safe, and alive, and we are all rejoicing!  So last night I served up a fresh plate of birthday cake!

Now listen here.  Although very simple in ingredients, this cake has three distinctly demanding steps.  You'll have to pardon my wordiness if you actually read the recipe.  If any of my friends try this cake, I need to share my full experience--especially what I learned from my mistakes.  Without further ado, may I present....

Stacey's Birthday Cake

a.k.a. You Know I Love You Cake

a.k.a. Double-Chocolate Praline-Fudge Cake

The Cake:

Ingredients~

1 1/2 cups butter

1/2 cup cocoa

1 1/2 cups water

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3/4 cup buttermilk

3 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

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3 cups sugar

3 cups flour

3/4 teaspoon salt

-Combine your buttermilk, eggs, baking soda, and vanilla in your main mixing bowl first thing.  Give it a good, little mix.  It's nice to get everything to room temperature when you're making a cake.

-Heat your first 3 ingredients in a saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly, just till butter is melted and it's all nice and smooth.  Cool. (You don't want this mixture to cook your eggs in the mixing bowl.)

-Line 3, 9-inch round cake pans with foil and grease generously.  The foil will make it MUCH easier to extract the cakes from the pans.  And you can peel it back once it's cooled. (Foil is easier to mold than parchment.)

-Then go ahead and mix your sugar, flour and salt in a separate bowl.  You'll need it soon.

-NOW, pour your cooled cocoa mixture into your room-temp buttermilk mixture and mix until blended.  Finally add the flour mixture and blend until, well, blended.  The batter is thin.

-As best you can humanly manage, divide the batter evenly between your three cake pans.  Bake @ 350 degrees for 25-35 minutes, using the trusty toothpick test for doneness.  You did remember to turn your oven on, right?

-Take the layers out of pans and cool completely on wire racks.  Peel the foil off when you're ready to assemble.

Now for the ganache....oh, the ganache.....don't worry.  If it doesn't set you can just add powdered sugar to thicken it.  That's what I had to do the first time.

Ganache:

Ingredients~

2, 12-oz pkgs. semi-sweet chocolate chips

2/3 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter

(You can halve these amounts if you want thinner layers of ganache.  Sissy.)

-Here's the deal y'all.  Chocolate is sensitive.  It's delicate.  You need to melt it and combine it with other things, but you can't let it get too hot or it won't do what you want it to do.  So, combine your chips and cream in a heavy saucepan and heat ever so gently, stirring constantly.  Your chips need to get to the point that they are melting, but not completely melted.  You want to be able to remove the pan from the heat and whisk a still lumpy mixture to a completely smooth mixture.  While you are doing this whisking you're going to add your butter one slice at a time.  Whisk until your arm hurts and the mixture is smooth.  

Then you wait.  

To see whether you've succeeded or failed.

I usually fail.

The pan needs to set in a cool kitchen for 25 minutes, being whisked often, until it reaches spreading consistency.  

(We have refused to put AC units in downstairs, so my kitchen is a toasty 85 degrees in the afternoon.  Which means, I had to set my ganache in the fridge.  It did actually set, which was a miracle, but I had to keep the assembled cake in the fridge constantly or the ganache would start melting again.)

If it has reached spreading consistency on its own, spread it between your cake layers--and the sides if you so dare.  If not, just beat in as much powdered sugar as is necessary, and then spread the dadgum ganache on the blasted cake.

And lick the bowl.

Now you can make the Praline Fudge Frosting!

Ingredients~

1/4 cup butter

1 cup packed brown sugar

1/3 cup heavy cream

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1 cup powdered sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup chopped pecans

-Bring first 3 ingredients to a boil, stirring often.  Once it is at a full boil--with bubbles in the middle as well as the edges--boil for 1 minute.  Literally, 1 minute.  Remove from heat and whisk in powdered sugar and vanilla until smooth.  Add pecans and stir for 3-5 minutes until it starts to thicken and cool a bit.  Pour immediately over your hallowed cake and allow to cool.

Slice it up and enjoy!