Ode to Hippies

the view from the back porch

Sometimes it takes a long time to really appreciate a friend.

When I was a teenager, life was difficult. 1) I was a teenager, and 2) The family unit I thought was the one and only way was quickly unravelling. Thankfully I didn't feel the need to seek comfort in material things or illegal things. I would have been in A LOT of trouble if I had. Mostly, I sought refuge in people who loved me. Sometimes that was a boyfriend, but more than not, that was a grown up....or two.....or three.

I had the most rare privilege of being surrounded by grown people who wanted nothing more than to love and help me. Even I, basically a child, knew that was a gift.

Today I'm remembering Gordon and Debi.

Those hippies...

gordon. handsome as ever.

From the time I was twelve to the time I "aged out" they hosted a weekly Bible study. That was a time when not only was I challenged to really think about the choices I made every day, but it was also a time of empowerment. When Gordon would ask a hard question and all would get quiet, he'd eventually look across the table and say, "What are you thinking, Sharla?" Do you have any idea what that does for a 15-year-old introvert? I felt like a giant...I felt valued. He looked at me and he knew my mind was always churning. In the present day my husband does the same thing. And every time he does I want to go grab his red head and kiss him square on the lips.

And Debi.

my wine buddy. sip and chat and listen to crickets.

I don't think I really appreciated Debi when I was growing up. Much like you don't appreciate your own mother until you're older, I didn't understand Debi's mother-heart until I had one of my own.

Five or six months into our Arkansas journey I finally reconnected with her. Being at her house is like a heaven-drug. It is open and breezy and always smells like fresh flowers. It's actually a lot like Debi herself. She designed it--literally--with an excellently understated warmth. Life flows in and out. Love flows the same. We camped our rambunctious family inside their home for most of our last months in Arkansas. We might have overstayed our welcome had the welcome actually had limitations. But it did not and I enjoyed the perpetual hug of her home until only Massachusetts could draw me away.

Obviously I left their company wanting to do just what they do. They are nearing retirement age, but they are far from retired. Their life is full, and they are happy.

Full.

Happy.

That is what I want. I want it now, and I especially want it in the autumn of life when it must be so easy to sink into loneliness. So, how have they done it? How have they managed to surround themselves with crazy grand-friends when they have no grandchildren or children of their own?

All I could figure out is that they Love. Every smile, every step, every decision seems to be governed by love.

They love each other. I don't think I've ever known a man to dote on his wife the way Gordon does. What he does, he does for Debi. He openly adores her, and after so many years together, he is still learning her. He is a student of What Makes Debi So Beautiful. I know this because he talks about it when she's around and when she's not. He enjoys sharing who his wife is.

They love others. Just try and keep Debi from helping you when she sees you have a need. Just try. It's not possible. They seek to serve. Instead of working to earn money she spends her days helping all the mamas and papas around raise their kids. Encouragement flows like a geyser from their mouths. If they aren't helping you out, they're telling you you're awesome. And if they're not doing that they're taking you somewhere to have fun.

They love their life. We spent most nights watching their screen saver cycle through all of Gordon's photos. These photos are some of the most beautiful I've ever seen, but they are especially beautiful for one reason. To me the greatest thing about them is they are pictures of their life. 90% of the photos are of things they've seen in nature and 10% are of friends and family members--usually in nature. They get out there and enjoy their life. There is nothing exceptionally exciting about where they live or what they do for work. But they seek out beauty. They seek out adventure and discovery. Their eyes are open and their feet are movin'.

And I love them.

Li'l Bit got Back

If you are a grandparent (of Li'l Bit's) and you follow Facebook, you might have noticed that she visited Children's Hospital in Boston yesterday. So, for your information--literally--I would like to give an explanation of what is going on. Meaning, there will be nothing in this post of interest or entertainment for the general public. Since, you know, all my posts absolutely gush with humor and enchantment. (sarcasm assumed.)

Since Li'l Bit was our one and only baby I've noticed her spine has an exaggerated curve. It's not a side-to-side curvature, but rather a front-to-back. So it's not scoliosis. It wasn't until 2010 that our pediatrician became concerned about it. So that year we saw our first orthopedist at Children's, and right after the start of 2011 she had her first MRI. She loved the MRI!! They gave her goggles and earphones so she could watch any movie she chose while having to lay completely still. I can't think of another child so perfectly suited for that exact situation. All of the above confirmed that her curvature is very slight and none of her internal workings are in danger. The plan was to watch her growth each year and keep an eye on how things are developing.

Yesterday was 2012's annual check up. We saw a different doctor, whom I really liked because he told me specifically how her spine malformed and pointed it all out on her last two x-rays and last year's MRI. I love it when a doctor gives actual, physical information. And it doesn't hurt that he's the chief of spinal surgery @ Boston Children's Hospital...on top of being Harvard educated and now Harvard educating. So yeah, she may not get to see her cousins every week, but she'll see the world's best doctors whenever needed. Not the same thing at all, but it's something.

Basically, she has three spinal segments without the proper spaces and discs between them. And though they act as one as they should not, they will continue to grow and change. These segments are right above the small of her back, wherein lies the potential problem. The small of her back curves more than usual to make up for the locked vertebra. Her spine does the same above the locked vertebra--which is the most noticeable aspect of malformation. But that area is not quite as risky, if I understand correctly. A perfectly normal spine experiences strain and pain @ the small of the back, so a malformed one is vulnerable to possibly excessive pain. This year's doctor agreed that we are still in the wait-and-see stage, but he had a slightly different input than last year's. He said, basically, should our waiting-and-seeing eyes discover that her malformed segment might in the future cause far too much strain on the rest of her back, we should intervene sooner rather than later. I could tell you what he means by intervene, but I'm not quite ready to go there. 1) We may never have to, and 2) It's kind of a big deal.

We did an x-ray yesterday, but did not need to do an MRI. Thankfully she was not too crushed by that news. She was so looking forward to it! Seriously. That girl.

The x-rays from 2010 and 2011 showed only the slightest change in the problematic area. Yesterdays x-ray showed almost no change at all from 2011. So we're good for now. We'll get an x-ray every year, discuss the issues with the famed doctor, and keep our parental ears open for any signs of abnormal pain or discomfort.

So, that's the dealio, yo.

Blood on Your Hands

You might want to sit down for this one.

I am about to share my most prized recipe. I feel I should hide it under a bushel since apparently the best recipes are kept secret. But then you hear about women dying and taking their recipes with them, and their kids and grandkids can never again taste Mama's Fill-in-the-Blank.

Geez. That's bleak. Sorry.

When I entered into a life-long agreement with a certain red-headed man, far advanced in years, he insisted that Totino's and Hamburger Helper made the world go 'round and cake mixes were better than homemade any day of the week.

For better or worse, Shar, for better or worse.

Being not only a perfectionist but also highly competitive I took that as a challenge. A personal challenge. Problem was I didn't have a lick of kitchen knowledge when we got hitched; you can imagine how trying this has been at times. Nevertheless, I made it my life's goal to break that man. Well, not to break him, but to change his mind....and make sure that he cannot survive a single day without my home cooking.

He's a very stubborn man. And he doesn't have a dramatic bone in his body, so he'd never say, "Oh, Sharla, I simply cannot imagine living without your cookies!!"

Don't get me wrong. He LOVES my cooking and tells me daily that I'm the BEST COOK in the whole world. And I'm pretty sure he means it. But he still loves his Totino's.

As in all life's greatest struggles we have to accept a little bit of defeat along with the victories. And the following victory was hard won.

Red Velvet Cake.

Ah yes, the big, fat Ruby in the crown of the Southern cook's crown.

I have screamed expletives, thrown tantrums, and stained my hands blood-red. But I finally....finally heard those blessed words...

"You know, I think I like yours better."

VICTORY!! I WON!!

(I told you I'm competitive.)

Without further ado, here's the recipe. It started when I found an old school, old lady recipe. I've made some changes and made it my own.

Victory! Red Velvet Cake

*preheat oven to 350 degrees F, and grease 3, round, 8-inch cake pans

**put on an apron! that red food color stains like the dickens

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

3 heaping tsp. cocoa powder

2 cups sugar

2 cups canola oil

2 eggs

1 cup buttermilk

1 tsp. vanilla

2 oz. red food color

1~Mix dry ingredients in a medium bowl, set aside. Combine buttermilk and vanilla, set aside.

2~In large mixing bowl, cream oil and sugar. Add eggs and mix well. Alternately add dry mixture and wet mixture beginning and ending with the wet.

3~Carefully add the red food color--it likes to splash all over the kitchen.

4~Pour into 3 prepared pans. (Immediately put your dirty dishes in the sink to rinse.) Bake for 25-30 minutes. Depending on your ovens tendency, start checking with toothpick and take out as soon as you get a clean end. Allow to cool completely.

Hopefully you'll have pretty edges and you can frost it the traditional way--between layers only. (Especially since it can be such a headache to frost the sides.)

Cream Cheese Frosting

1-8 oz. package cream cheese

1/2 cup butter

2 tsp. vanilla

4 1/2-5 cups powdered sugar

1~Cream butter and cream cheese. Whip it!! Add vanilla. Add powdered sugar to spreading consistency. Frost the cake. (Save a little for tasting. Or a lot.)

2~Prepare to be adored.