Blood on Your Hands

You might want to sit down for this one.

I am about to share my most prized recipe. I feel I should hide it under a bushel since apparently the best recipes are kept secret. But then you hear about women dying and taking their recipes with them, and their kids and grandkids can never again taste Mama's Fill-in-the-Blank.

Geez. That's bleak. Sorry.

When I entered into a life-long agreement with a certain red-headed man, far advanced in years, he insisted that Totino's and Hamburger Helper made the world go 'round and cake mixes were better than homemade any day of the week.

For better or worse, Shar, for better or worse.

Being not only a perfectionist but also highly competitive I took that as a challenge. A personal challenge. Problem was I didn't have a lick of kitchen knowledge when we got hitched; you can imagine how trying this has been at times. Nevertheless, I made it my life's goal to break that man. Well, not to break him, but to change his mind....and make sure that he cannot survive a single day without my home cooking.

He's a very stubborn man. And he doesn't have a dramatic bone in his body, so he'd never say, "Oh, Sharla, I simply cannot imagine living without your cookies!!"

Don't get me wrong. He LOVES my cooking and tells me daily that I'm the BEST COOK in the whole world. And I'm pretty sure he means it. But he still loves his Totino's.

As in all life's greatest struggles we have to accept a little bit of defeat along with the victories. And the following victory was hard won.

Red Velvet Cake.

Ah yes, the big, fat Ruby in the crown of the Southern cook's crown.

I have screamed expletives, thrown tantrums, and stained my hands blood-red. But I finally....finally heard those blessed words...

"You know, I think I like yours better."

VICTORY!! I WON!!

(I told you I'm competitive.)

Without further ado, here's the recipe. It started when I found an old school, old lady recipe. I've made some changes and made it my own.

Victory! Red Velvet Cake

*preheat oven to 350 degrees F, and grease 3, round, 8-inch cake pans

**put on an apron! that red food color stains like the dickens

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking soda

3 heaping tsp. cocoa powder

2 cups sugar

2 cups canola oil

2 eggs

1 cup buttermilk

1 tsp. vanilla

2 oz. red food color

1~Mix dry ingredients in a medium bowl, set aside. Combine buttermilk and vanilla, set aside.

2~In large mixing bowl, cream oil and sugar. Add eggs and mix well. Alternately add dry mixture and wet mixture beginning and ending with the wet.

3~Carefully add the red food color--it likes to splash all over the kitchen.

4~Pour into 3 prepared pans. (Immediately put your dirty dishes in the sink to rinse.) Bake for 25-30 minutes. Depending on your ovens tendency, start checking with toothpick and take out as soon as you get a clean end. Allow to cool completely.

Hopefully you'll have pretty edges and you can frost it the traditional way--between layers only. (Especially since it can be such a headache to frost the sides.)

Cream Cheese Frosting

1-8 oz. package cream cheese

1/2 cup butter

2 tsp. vanilla

4 1/2-5 cups powdered sugar

1~Cream butter and cream cheese. Whip it!! Add vanilla. Add powdered sugar to spreading consistency. Frost the cake. (Save a little for tasting. Or a lot.)

2~Prepare to be adored.